Ashley Madison Tips And Tricks

Best Ashley Madison tips and tricks 2023: If you’re in any kind of relationship, and are looking for an affair, you’re at the right place.

I’m sure you know what Ashley Madison is and how it works. This piece will simply help you use Ashley Madison better.

These Ashley Madison tips and tricks will keep you safe and help you find partners faster. If you still haven’t signed up, do that right away. It’s free.

Ashley Madison tips and tricks

This obviously isn’t an absolute list. However, after using Ashley Madison for over 3 years, I’m sure at least some of these would be helpful to you.

1. Use a profile picture.

Ashley Madison doesn’t force you to upload profile pictures. However, uploading one has clear benefits. Even Ashley Madison claims that uploading a profile picture gets you 400% more responses.

Ashley Madison profile picture

It’s natural, people are more likely to consider you if they know what you look like. You can always use the blur and masks on Ashley Madison to hide your actual identity.

Tip: Wear red for your profile photo. Tinder found that 56% women and 72% men wear neutral colours in their profile photos. Red would make you stand out and pop!

2. DO NOT use your real name.

I know, I just said you should include a profile picture and now I’m saying this. It’s contradictory, but it’s not. Let me explain. The profile picture can’t be easily used to track you down as a person, unlike your name.

Ashley Madison doesn’t need you to use your real name to use the platform. Always use a fake username, something unrelated to you. E.g. ColaLover.  Be sure to not include your pet’s name, your nickname or other such real data.

3. Use private albums

If Ashley Madison offers a feature, it’s best to use it, isn’t it? By using Ashley Madison’s private albums, you can control who gets access to your photos. You must individually grant each person access for them to view your private albums. .

I’d advise against turning off “auto key share”. It’s a feature which grants anyone access to your private album who shares their private album with you. It’s best to retain control, isn’t it?

4. Do not ask for pictures fast.

Let me put this out as we’re on the topic of private albums. Ashley Madison does allow you to request someone’s private album in just a single click. This doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to do so.

Try to establish a connection first. It’s best if you can make them ask for your photos first rather than the other way around.

5. “Winks” and “favorites” aren’t your best bets.

I just said you should use the provided features, now I’m saying you shouldn’t “wink” or “favorite” people.

This is because both of these are “free” features. When you “wink” at someone, or “favorite” them,  they get a notification. Here’s what both the messages look like:

Ashley Madison features

Now, most women would have dozens of these. Your wink/favorite just gets lost in the sea of automated messages in their inbox.

Hence, in order to have a chance at replies, you need to stand out.  That’s exactly what the next Ashley tip is about.

6. Use “Priority messages”.

Ashley Madison has a feature called “Priority messages”. These messages are highlighted in your receivers’ inboxes.

These have the highest chances of you getting a positive response. They show that you’re serious, you put in efforts and do not cheap out.

Of course, it’s not mandatory to use priority messages and you can also send a normal, custom-crafted message.

7. It’s okay to use slightly “different/untrue” details.

By “different/untrue”, I mean data which isn’t 100% true but isn’t completely false either. It’s best to use a location on your profile that isn’t your actual location, but is close by. E.g. a neighbouring town/state. This would let you meet people from the same areas but without having to reveal your exact address.

The same is true for age. I’d highly recommend against using a fake age. However, changing it by 1 year doesn’t hurt a lot. You can either increase or decrease it by a single year just to hide your actual age.

8. Do not create a fake “woman” account.

You may think it’s smart to create a 100% free woman account on Ashley Madison. While it does give you 100% free access to all features, it kills your chances of finding a match. Would you trust someone you met on a cheating website, who used a fake identity just to save a few bucks? Plus, it shows you’re cheap and that may be a turn off for many.

9. Pay using gift cards

Yes, Ashley Madison accepts these. The company is pretty protective of its users’ identity anyway. Hence, it doesn’t force you to use traceable payment modes such as credit cards.

If possible, it’s best to use gift cards to pay for your Ashley Madison account. This also prevents Ashley Madison from being linked to you on any of your financial statements.

Tip: Even if you use cards to pay for your Ashley Madison account, Ashley hides your payment. On your statement, there’s no mention of Ashley Madison rather it’s billed to a different name.

10. Do not link your social media ( if you’re cheating).

It’s a good idea to link to your Instagram/Facebook or other networks to give your visitors a better idea, isn’t it? Not exactly, especially if you’re cheating/are committed and looking for an extra affair.

Your other social media accounts generally have many more details about your personal life and true identity. Those details open up a lot of spam/scam and attack vectors.

11. Use better opening messages. Use their profile for hints.

The most common mistake we all make? Sending one-word opening messages, especially to women. A “Hi” or “What’s up” isn’t really conversational is it?

It helps to study a potential match’s profile before hitting them up. Check where they’re from, what their interests are, what they’re looking for and so on.

Then, craft your message keeping as many of these points in it as possible. They need to know you’ve put in the effort. E.g. if they’ve got “Sushi lover” in their profile, research good Sushi places in their neighbourhood and include that in your message.

12. It’s not always about sex.

Sure, Ashley Madison is an affair site. A large number of members there are just looking for a sexual gateway from their unhappy relationships. However, that’s not always true.

Even when it is true, it may not always be the sole priority. Some people may wish to talk out their frustrations, or maybe be friends before jumping into bed.

Sure, your messages may hint that you’re open to sex but they shouldn’t be too aggressive about it.

Make the other person feel wanted, not just physically but emotionally.

13. Be wary of catfishers (especially on video calls)

Catfishers are individuals who create fake dating websites with specific targets in mind, especially blackmail or financial gains.

When conversing with someone, pay attention to what their goals are. Are they insisting on  personal details? Did they ask for any financial help (even very small ones?).

Video calls are some of the best weapons catfishers use. They’d ask you to join a video call, it’s generally nude. You’re asked to share your face. Once you do that, a screenshot/recording of the video may be used to blackmail you.

Hence, never in any way show your face on a nude video call.

14. Video chat before meeting up.

I know, I’m passing a lot of contradictory statements here, but I’ve got a point. I said “no faces on nude video calls”. But, it helps massively to connect on video call before you go out on a physical date.

First off, you get a better, less-edited version of how the person looks like. This keeps your expectations checked.

Then, typing on a keyboard is different than using your voice and expressions, isn’t it? The tone and voice of the person may be a plus or a minus point for you. It also is a major way to detect fake profiles.

15. Let them be in charge.

This point primarily applies to you if you’re a man. It’s okay to let the women be in charge. Let her decide where she wants to meet and when. This massively builds trust and makes them feel uncomfortable.

Of course, even as a man you totally should have your say. You may suggest changes or give reasons why you think your ideas are better. I’d recommend meeting in a public place both to men and women.

16. Be sure to get the Ashley Madison free trial

Ashley Madison offers a free trial for its “Member Initiated Contact” and “Message Plus” features.

Ashley Madison free trial

Make sure you check the box on the payment page. To know how these features benefit you, read our detailed Ashley Madison review.

17.  Use Ashley Madison’s “new members only” filter

Use Ashley Madison’s “new members only” filter. This helps you find the newest profiles on the platform. They are your best bets for multiple reasons.

First, because they’re new they probably aren’t tired of all the desperate message they’ll soon be flooded with. Secondly, because they’re new they’ll probably be more active which means you’ve better chances of replies. This also helps save credits as I’ve seen people waste a fortune initiating conversations with dead profiles.


That’ll be all folks. I’m certain these Ashley Madison tips and tricks are more than enough to get you started and keep you going, aren’t they?

I’m sure with time you’ll figure out more of what works and what doesn’t. At the end, just like any other dating sites, the core rules are the same. Be respectful, do not invade someone’s privacy and make them feel comfortable.